Saturday, April 19, 2014

Which movie am I gonna watch tonight?

only lovers left alive poster

Only Lovers Left Alive
Directed by Jim Jarmusch
starring Tom Hiddleston, Tilda Swinton, Mia Wasikowska, John Hurt, Anton Yelchin, Jeffrey Wright

Tom Hiddleston-Tilda Swinton
The most gorgeous and sweet couple!
 I love vampire movies!
One could even say I have a slight obsession with vampire movies.
Yes i do want to have seen every vampire movie ever made one day...
But most vampire movies have a lot in common, one of the films that stand out to me are films like Thirst and The Hunger. But even those two are kind of exploitative.
I mean Vampires are usually fangy blood thirsty creatures, that do get sooner or later a little campy in their need for blood.


Even the beautiful and sophisticated types like in Coppolas Dracula or Interview with a Vampire get a little blood crazy and violent at times. I am not saying any of these attributes are bad things, I really do love all the films mentioned above.

But there comes Jim Jarmusch, a director I have been a fan of for years and makes a Vampire movie.
And of course he somehow manages to make a beautiful, slow, intimate and sophisticated version of the Vampire film, a type I haven’t seen before.
The film was quite reminiscent of Anne Rices Vampire chronicles to me. The characters were educated in arts, threw in little tidbits of history and cared for antiques.

"That coat must be at least a century old"
The cast is great, the sets and costumes are gorgeous, the dialogue is oh so slightly poetic, and the plot is entrancing without falling into the exploitative or seizure inducing kind.
I really really loved this film, and there is too many little points I enjoyed to write them all down.
To me it is an instant classic that I know I will watch many more times.
A great film for everyone who loves some charming characters and some gorgeous images, even if you aren’t into Vampire films
Oh and by the way, the music is fantastic!

Mmmhhh Bloodsickle

Friday, April 18, 2014

Make up guide for the cosmetically impaired

Beware spoilers: Finished look
This is a guide for those kind of people who may either never have used make up, used very little, or the last time they did was the early 80s and they are trying to avoid that look.
But Ey if you would like to rock the early 80s look I am happy to do a tutorial on that too!

Still love Mr Bowie!
So this guide will be very basic, in its techniques and its utensils.
In my opinion there is a minimum amount of products needed, but I will try to give the very adventurous some options to expand and add some extra tricks in there.

You will need at least:
Foundation and or concealer
1 brown eye pencil
1 lip stick
add ons:
Eye shadow

First, we start with a clean and moisturized face. If you don’t know how to do so or why you should do so, refer to this post.
If you don’t have a nice prepared canvas, anything you apply to it wont look nice.
I believe we have evolved a little since the 18th century were perfume was the shower de rigueur, so just think of it like that.

More, I need more!
Second, groom your eyebrows! As skin is the canvas eyebrows are the frame! This guide is so basic it does not include how to trace your eye brows. It really is an important step though, but since many people get little heart attacks just thinking about painting their eyebrows, at least have them nice and neat.

always add a Ryan Gosling meme!
There are 3 options here, you want to wear foundation which is option number 1,
If you are to lazy to wear it, or you just don’t like it, and or don’t want to spend money for a product you will use 3 times in your life proceed to option number 2.
Foundations is a tricky thing, you need to figure out your skin type, look for a foundation that suits that skin type and then of course find the perfect shade. Proper make up and department stores are your friend! The ladies there will inform you of the foundations that might suit your skin type best and then even proceed to match one to your skin tone!
Beware! It seems to be fashionable to be tan now a days, so many beauty ladies match foundations too dark than their clients skin, just to please the customer. Don’t fall into that trap.
If you want to look tan then use bronzer, if you use too dark foundation it will look off eventually!

Pro tip: Take a mirror and check the foundation outside on the street too see how it actually looks. Check your jaw and make sure that the color matches your neck.

Now, you don’t need to buy a department store foundation of course, but if you know nothing about foundations that trip might be very educational and teach you on what to look for when you buy whatever foundation you want.

Application: The easiest way to apply foundation is to put a little on your fingers, warm it up in your hands and spread it evenly on your face.

My favorite concealer right now is Misshas Perfect concealer
 So for those who can’t be bothered with foundation Concealer is your friend! If you don’t have the skin of a vampire or fairy or maybe vampire fairy, you might want to invest in a concealer.
It will hide your flaws in a natural way and sometimes make foundation unnecessary.
And if you are into a little alchemy you can even make a foundation out of your concealer!
You can definitely apply concealer on top of your foundation if you have a lot of blemishes, scars or the like.
But if you decide to go with the concealer only route, choose a concealer that you feel most comfortable with and find the prefect shade. Once again people have the misconception that concealers are suppose to be lighter than your skin, unless you are into looking like a panda I would try to find a shade that closely matches your skin.

Stay on the safe side and match your concealer to your skin tone
Application: take a little bit of concealer with your finger and tap it onto the back of your hand, dab it on your blemishes and other parts you want to hide. Blend out the edges by tapping them with your finger.
To conceal the under eye area apply the concealer in a sort of triangle shape and blend gently with fingers.

add concealer to blemishes, for under eye circle apply in the shape of the stars
For the Alchemically inclined: Take a little bit of concealer and mix it with some moisturizer and BAM you have a foundation!

Option 3: Screw everything! You do have the complexion of a supernatural creature or simply don’t care how your skin looks then proceed to the next section of the guide.

The eyes!

If you want to own one of those beauty items that you can do a million things with, get yourself a brown eye pencil. Brown suits everyone and can be used in a natural or even more daring way.
Most people think black suits everyone but believe me it doesn’t.
I recommend you choose a pencil with a medium creamy texture. You don’t want it to tuck on your eye when applying it, but also not to smear everywhere.

Line the upper part of you eye like so:
First make a line from the inner corner of your eye to where your lashes end.

Hold your eye lid taught for a smoother application.
If you like the cat eye look, make a tiny line upwards while looking directly into the mirror and then join the lines.
For a more natural look you can blend that out with your fingers, a q tip or those spongy ends that come on some pencils.
For the lower part of your eye dot some eye pencil like so and then blend.
For a stronger look make a solid line and then blend.

Draw line, join them and then proceed to the lower lash line

If you feel this isn’t exiting enough for you but you can’t be bothered with eye shadow then you can fake an eye shadow look with that same pencil.

With a light hand make little stripes on the outer side of your lid making a sort of v shape for extra lift and depth.
Blend like crazy and voila!

add some pencil in the shape of the stars, then blend
If you think applying eye pencil is so totally not daring enough, you could try out some eye shadow.
If you don’t own one already I recommend picking up a neutral non glittery palette of at least 3 shadows in brown tones.

My favorite palette Dior Beige Massai, I used to steal this from my mom when I was younger :)
The shadows should be matte or slightly satin, but please stay away from the glitter!

Start with bare eyes, then use the lightest shade underneath your brow, and on your eyelid and then with a darker shade you do the little v thing again. blend blend blend.
Add the eye pencil as in the first step of the eye section on your upper and lower lid, or use even darker eye shadow to add definition in the same way.

1st add light shadow under your brow and on your eye lid, 2nd add medium dark shadow to your crease, 3rd add eyeliner or dark eye shadow

Now to finish any eye you need mascara. There is a gazillion, just choose one, maybe the one with the most outrageous and fake looking advertisements?
If you are super duper brave use an eyelash curler like so:

This is my startled animal face
If you don’t feel like putting space age looking gadgets to your precious eye balls apply mascara without the curling.
You apply the mascara going as close as you can or dare to your lash line, and with a left and right movement you slowly brush them up.

Pro tip: Tap the excess mascara on the tip of the wand onto a tissue for a better application, and never ever pump your wand into the tube!

Left, right and up movement
You may end this whole ordeal here if you want, but if you would like to add some color to those cheeks and lips read on.

As for the shade if you never wore lipstick before the safest options are a medium pink or rose, or a corally peach. These look the most natural and suit all skin tones. Like the foundation you need to try them out to find the right shade for you. There is a million different formulations out there but my favorites are lip tints, liquid lipstick (not to be confused with lip gloss) and the good old regular lip stick in a tube.

Maybe a little less up top...
For a natural look, and for your own sanity, if the thought of applying lipstick in a non clownish fashion throws you into sweats and frenzy, dab it on!
You might see a pattern here, and yes I dab everything on. It just looks the most natural and lets you regulate the amount of product very well.

dotted                                                 blended
Dab some of the lip product on your lips straight form the tube or with your finger and then blend.
For visibility purposes i chose a very bright pink!

Now you are at a cross roads again. Either you let your pretty lippy multi task or you delve into the deep and dark arts of The BLUSH!

dotted                                                   blended
To use your lipstick as a blush, guess what! Dab some with your fingers on your cheeks and blend.

How I apply powder blush
If you are more the dark arts kind, choose a blush in a similar shade to your lipstick and apply it to your cheeks. If it is a cream blush follow the lipstick blush instructions. If it is a powder blush, put some on your brush, tap it off a little to get rid of excess and
swish it back and forth starting a little below your temple towards the apples of your cheeks.

Work it into your skin, don't just fluff it over your face or you might wipe of previous make up or concealer
Bonus step:
You own a face powder and are dying to use it, or you really want to use powder because its soft and nice and who wouldn’t want to feel those soft fluffy brushes against ones skin.
If you belong into one of those categories take your powder, add it to a puff or brush and roll it against your face in a downward motion to set your make up.  Do this as your last step but not if you used cream blush or lipstick as blush. It would stick to it and not be pretty.

Make sure to not add too much powder to your puff or brush

And this concludes the longest blog post in the history of nothing.
Feel free to ask questions into my belly or ask for product recommendations!

The finished look: left side with eye shadow and right side pencil only, I dont know why the right eye looks so wonky    

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Woeful Windsday

charles addams illustration
"Just the kind of day that makes you feel good to be alive!"

Innisfree super volcanic pore clay mask review

Innisfree super volcanic pore clay mask (100ml)

Tightens pores + removes sebum + exfoliates dead skin cells + offers deep cleaning + enhances skin tone + provides cooling effect
This clay mask with its super volcanic cluster capsules powerfully absorbs sebum to intensively resolve pore concerns.

Directions: After cleansing, apply skin toner to refine skin texture and gently smooth over entire face, avoiding eye and lip area. After 10 minutes gently roll using fingertips to rinse off with lukewarm water.

Innisfree super volcanic pore clay mask
This is Elwood. Elwood says Hi!
I am currently part of a battle. The battle against visible pores!
I have tried everything, from ignoring the bastards, pore strips, a gazillion masks and creams against blackheads, glue ( yeah I know don't do it!), taking them out one by one with a pin head to oil cleansing.
After quite a bit of trial and error I have managed to keep mine sort of under control and almost invisible. There are still a few pores who are holding on strong, big and proud, but I well get all those suckers one day. ONE DAY

Personification of my pores

Why do some men have those stupid pores that don't want to collaborate?
Why aren't his pores radically reduced if we used the same products?
Well, desperate and exhausted I decided to do something radical.

Innisfree super volcanic pore clay mask packaging
Innisfree super volcanic pore clay mask comes in a Box
Try out a Clay mask!
Why is this radical you ask?
Well because I have very dry skin and the few times I used my moms clay masks to deep cleanse, or one of those days I had a break out, my face started the process of mummification

I feel ya buddy!
But I heard great review about this clay mask an I have to say I don't regret it!
It is super smooth in texture and when applied it doesn't dry down hard and crackly.
And wonder oh wonder, It doesn't strip my face of moisture!

Innisfree super volcanic pore clay mask divider
Comes with a protective divider.  Also that's Roger, he is enjoying the view of the volcano bog
It smells sort of earthy with a touch of citrus but it isn't strong and dissipates fast.
It is also easy to wash off. I use a Konjac sponge and it disappears in a jiffy!

Innisfree super volcanic pore clay mask swatch
semi dried swatch
So does it help for pore reduction you all wonder?
It definitely deep cleanses the skin well, and I believe it is great as a spot treatment as well.
Neither my husband nor I have oily skin and I heard it works very well in sucking the oils out too. And those nasty sebaceous filaments... they actually do get better too! They don't magically disappear but they don't feel raised to the touch and if you look very closely they are definitely reduced.
I think this is a must have clay mask if you are into that kind of thing, or for people who want a little help in their battle against their own sebaceous filaments.

 Before                                                      After

PH: Difficult to tell since it is opaque grey but seems to be 7

Ingredients: See here 

1.Blegh  2. Pff  3. Meh  4. Oohh  5. Awwyeah 6. Wooha

Available on ebay
and Koreadepart

Sunday, April 13, 2014

Which movie am I gonna watch tonight?

Ten things I hate about you
directed by Gil Junger
starring Julia Stiles, Heath Ledger and Joseph Gordon-Levitt

I recently re watched this because my husband never saw it before *gasp*
I remember liking it but I forgot how much fun this film is!
It is quite refreshing to watch. Sometimes I get surprised how fresh older movies are.
Its was funny in a witty smart sort of way and even a little scandalous!

Few stereotypes and even most of them redeemed themselves in the end
If you havent seen it yet or it has been a while I highly recommend watching this!

Also Health Ledger is gorgeous!
It had to be said!

P.s: Julia Stiles and Andrew Keegan also were together in a different Shakespeare adaptation, O.

Spot the difference

Friday, April 11, 2014

Johnny Clydes Skin care guide for beginners and other creatures

AFTER the routine
 Hello everyone. I am husband of Moi Sanom.
I used to be a bat before we met, which was crazy. Through proper skin care I have become something less attractive than a bat but the limbs are nice. I used to have quite a bit of skin problems. I tried a bunch of store products but nothing really helped, or it would only help until I stopped using it. So nothing actually cured my bad skin, just sustained it. Now when I get the urge to go back to my animalistic ways of hunting in the woods for bugs for a week straight without washing my face, I suffer little consequences. Except hunger. So not only has my skin been much better since starting this process, it's practically cured and I don't have to worry about breaking out more then a tiny bit if I don't wash every day. (Although you probably should anyways)

So step 1 Cleansing
When you're an ex animal like myself you know all about collecting tons of dirt and grime and maggots on your face. If you used to be a snake then you can skip this next bit because you already know about shedding skin.
Humans have a lot of dead skin on their face.Which is cool if you're into that, but depressing if you think about it.
You're doing your skin a favor if you wash away that dead skin.
Since all your skin is family, you don't want to just leave the dead ones next to the others.
Think of the skin children. Same for dirt and grime and maggots.
Apparently that stuff isn't that great for your face?
Who knew.

There's a lot of options for how to clean your face. Things like foam cleansers, milk cleaners, cream cleansers, and oil cleansers. I personally use foam cleansers because it's soft and I was a pretty pathetic bat back in my day.
I like the tiny bubbles.
I like the tiny bubbles on my face.

tiny bubbles!
So I just put some of the product on my sponge, foam it up by squeezing, and I rub that bad boy all over my face. (there might be some language barrier here, because that doesn't sound dirty at all to bats)

The result!
Your face won't be disgusting! Washes away all that dirt, grime, oil, and dead skin bodies.

Step 2. Toning
 I'm going to be honest. I've got no idea what toning does. Back in the forest we had this thing we called a toning, but it's completely different. We basically bathed in blood. Donor blood though so it's cool.

Toning for humans and ex animals does a variety of things (my wife informs me)
For instance: If you've got troubled or oily skin, this is good for general cleansing and oil control.
So do it. You animal.
If you've got normal or dry skin, this is good for moisturizing. So do it either way. You creature of the night.
The thing about toner though, is it hates soap. So toner kills soap that's left over from step 1.
Kills it in a good way though.
Soap left on the skin is like soap left on your car.
It does something.
I don't know what but people don't seem to want it to happen. Maybe soap ferments and turns into battery acid. Science may never know.

You can use a cotton pad to rub it on your face or put some in your hands and pat it all over.
Toner also prepares your skin to absorb moisturizer easier. So if you've got skin, try toner today. It's good no matter what.

I regret everything! You are suppose to rub it in...don't do this at home...

Step 3. Moisturizer
Or as I like to call it. Step 3: The clicking bells of death are coming. (I don't know why I call it that, bells don't even click)
This step is good and a must for any skin type.
I guess I should just mention that everyone should do this routine because it's nothing but good for your skin.
Any skin type. Except possibly recently 3rd degree burned skin.
It is important to find a moisturizer (The clicking bells of death are coming) that works best with your skin. If you find a moisturizer that really does it for you, take it back to the forest and perform wedlock. Believe me finding the perfect one is not an easy task!

this is not the moisturizer for me
As for the recently 3rd degree burnt victim, you need to go to a hospital. The only moisturizer that's going to help you right now is damp bandages.

So with moisturizer you just rub it into your face skin. Not your face bones.
After that your skin will be instantly softer and brighter. For dry skin you'll feel that your skin doesn't itch or feel tight anymore.
For oily skin moisturizing will often prevent break outs, since it will stop your skin from over producing oil in order to make up for the dehydration of your skin.

Bonus step! For the real adventurous types. Just kidding, it's just for the non lazy types.
You ex sloths get out of here.
Exfoliating gets rid of dead skin cells.
Exfoliators are basically flowers for the grieving still living skin. You only need to do this once or twice a week because your skin just needs to get over it and accept the death of the other cells.
If it's a physical exfoliator you just rub it gently on your face, then wash it off. This will give you a nice deep cleanse, make your skin feel brighter and amazing.

So in conclusion I definitely recommend doing this everyday.
And don't say you'll do it every day like you do your work out routines (I'm onto you)
ACTUALLY do it every day. It's worth it.
Your skin will heal and you'll realize that you don't have to worry about blemishes as much when you wake up. Even without troubled skin, you will find that this routine will help against aging and bring you one step closer to this guy:

His ex animal was a golden fox